Mental Performance
Coaching
Ray Miller
(any pronouns)
Mental Performance Coach
Certified Holistic Nurse, Coach and Consultant
I help people
trust themselves and
live freely to enjoy success.
Want to learn more?
Ask questions
Get guidance on your next step, even if coaching is not right for you.
Send Questions
Please note: Coaching eligibility is limited and based on clinical assessment.
Suburban FC
Mental Performance
Skills Questions
Pre-Requisite:
Am I willing to...
Am I willing to pause and feel what I'm feeling for 30 seconds?
Am I willing to see another possibility in this situation, even if it means I'm wrong?
Am I willing to embrace my freedom to choose a difference thought or action, even if I don't feel like it?
| NOTICE HERE & NOW |
|---|
| Key: 1. Notice how you feel with curiosity. 2. Shift your focus to something you see, feel or hear with vivid detail. |
What do I feel?
Where in my body?
What's going through my mind?What am I doing?
What do I feel like doing to feel better?
How do I feel now?Am I willing to feel this a little longer, so I can get stronger?
How can I...?What if it’s normal to feel this way?
What if I could choose to not care how I feel?
What if I can feel this and still do what matters?How can I make this a game?
How curious can I get?What’s oddly enjoyable about this?
What if I loved this... what would I be seeing that I'm not now? What else?
| NOTICE THOUGHTS |
|---|
| Keys: 1. Get curious about what your thoughts and emotions are trying to tell you about what you need or care about. 2. Remind yourself that thoughts are not facts. Verify the facts and consider alternate possibilities. |
Where is this coming from?
What might this be showing me I need or care about?How might this be helping me?
What if this is exactly what I need to get stronger?
Am I open to this?What do I need that I’m not giving myself right now? (Physical, mental, emotional, etc.)
Where do I need to be more patient and understanding of myself?If I really didn’t care, why would I be feeling so strongly?
What matters or is so important that I’m feeling this?What if it’s ok to enjoy this?
What if this is showing me something I need more of in life?
What else...?
| CREATE CONFIDENCE |
|---|
| Key: 1. Explore alternate perspectives and action. 2. Choose smallest, easiest, step to challenge fear and create new beliefs. Outcome: Overcome anxiety. Create confidence and trust in self. |
What else is true? What other facts am I not noticing now? What would I see in this situation if it was my friend?
Is this a fact? What words would a lawyer use to describe this in court? When, in what small way or circumstance, have I seen something different?
When has this not been true? What else is true about this?
What is oddly funny or ironic about this?
How can I do this for me? In what small way can I enjoy this? In what small way could I gain from this or use this?
If I was feeling [safe, confident, etc.] right now…
…what would I be seeing in this that I'm not seeing now?
…what would I be remembering?
...what would I doing that I'm not doing now? Why?If I really cared and believed in myself, what would I notice and remind myself that I’m not seeing now? What would I tell someone else feeling this way?
If I could see things clearly, what would I see as going well? What am I forgetting that is going well?
What is the irony or humour in this?
What if what I’m feeling isn’t wrong? What if this is a sign I’ve grown and am ready for a change.
What if I’m not failing? What if I could see the progress I’ve made and how well I’m managing this compared to times before? How would I see myself growing?
Need something else? Ask about customized skills and programming.
Reach out with questions!
Suburban FC
Mental Performance Skills Questions
Thrive Holistic Wellness
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
©2025 Thrive Holistic Wellness
Looking for something else?
Let me know!
Suburban FC
Mental Performance Skills Questions
Thrive Holistic Wellness
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
©2025 Thrive Holistic Wellness
What do I need...
...that I'm not getting? (Rest, time to self, fun, etc.) If I could guess what would it be?
...that I'm not giving myself? (patience, food, etc.) How can I give this to myself now?
...to forgive? What part of myself? Where do I need more patience with myself?
Get more strategies for frustration, irritability and other distractions:
Suburban FC
Mental Performance Skills Questions
Thrive Holistic Wellness
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
©2025 Thrive Holistic Wellness
Remind self...
It's OK to feel this way. Yes, it's hard when things go like this...and, you're learning! This is how it feels to get better and get stronger.
Mistakes are GOOD. This is showing me what works or doesn't work. I can use this to improve next time.
You're free to explore. You're free to learn by experimenting and doing. It's safe to learn this way. You are not failing, you're learning.
I can choose again now.
It doesn’t matter what happened 5 minutes ago. I can choose again now.
Create your own self-talk strategies.
Reach out to learn how!
Suburban FC
Mental Performance Skills Questions
Thrive Holistic Wellness
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
©2025 Thrive Holistic Wellness
1. Notice...
Bring your focus 100% to here and now. Move in slow motion, focus intently on sensations you feel or something you see. What small detail have you never noticed before now?
2. Ask yourself...
What else is possible? If I felt my best, what would I be thinking/seeing that I'm not thinking/seeing now?
What would say to a friend in this situation?
What can I say to myself now?
3. Tell yourself outloud...
One small thing that you can truthfully say and mean it, right now?
Example:
I don't like feeling this way. I want another way to see things.
It must feel true as you say it. If it doesn't feel true, modify to what feels true:
Example:
I am willing to WANT to see things differently.
Ready to invest in your performance and confidence?
Suburban FC
Mental Performance Skills Questions
Thrive Holistic Wellness
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
©2025 Thrive Holistic Wellness
Ready to take the next step?
Choose you preference to connect:
Book a time to meet online or
Write your questions.Share what you're looking for and ask questions.
Learn about coaching options and what to expect.
Suburban FC
Mental Performance Skills Questions
Thrive Holistic Wellness
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
©2025 Thrive Holistic Wellness